WATCHING and WANDERING

Monday Morning

.

Noon

After Evening Meditation at my Zendo,
I Wandered West to the Hudson River

arriving just after Sundown.

The horizon was not tilted, I was.

I walked from West 23rd along the water,
crossed over the highway to 34th Street...

...and caught a bus back East to home.

Tuesday Noon
These six Portulacaria Afrans are still rooting. I move them outside when the sun is warm on the sill...

...and return them inside as the sun drifts West.
.

Wednesday Morning
When I woke today, my first thoughts brought the memory of my Mother, telling me about the legacy she had arranged for my brother and I and who she choose as executor. We were having lunch at a nearby place and I recall how I protested the topic, not realizing then that she was preparing me for her death, that a recent diagnosis had spurred her to prepare for what did follow only a scant few years after. I had a nostalgic weep, then went to my front window and took this shot of the tree I love bathed in light. Back in the early seventies, neighbors and I raised money for one tree because the City had promised to plant ten if we did. We planned and mounted the home grown street fair on our block and were successful. A few of those originals still stand. This is one.

Evening
At the Zendo
 
Old friends have returned with the good news that they will be moving to Tuscany forever later this Summer.
 
A storm is brewing outside tonight.

For DAYS i THOUGHT it was FRIDAY

But first came Wednesday when, because they are soon closing forever like so many businesses that have been priced out of their locations, I purchased, thanks to a kind neighbor who loaned money, extra RAMs for my struggling and beloved Mac Laptop. 

Dropping it off before a session at the Zendo where lovely orchids adorn the altar, and picking it up after.

Thinking of friends up there on the fifth floor, I Shot this view of Dharma Mitra's Yoga Center across the street from the bus stop until the bus whisked me home.

 ~*~

Soon it was Thursday, and this oil soaked driver delivering to a luxury building on 23rd Street was smoking.  Nearby door men were commenting on the dangers of that as I moved forward and away at a brisk pace...

heading for CVS which has a camera pointed at the entrance doors...

so I took the opportunity for this screen 'selfie' I rather like since it makes me look like a blue garden gnome and/or an abstract painting.

In the mail today, a postcard from a friend depicts the last remaining narrow-gauge Railway Depot in Ohio.  He helped raise funds for the restoration of it, then he and his Mother went to a rabbit show at the County Fair.  How refreshing, and so other-than the world I receive and absorb from my various media sources shattering contrived calm: Fatal shootings of black men by Police, Police killed by sniper during protest march in Dallas, Terrible Massacre in Nice on Bastille day, Attempted Coup in Turkey, Ongoing world wide refugee crisis, Starvation in Brazil, Trouble in the Congo, Fires, Floods and Droughts, Land grabs in every City and Country, Disappearing species, and the outrageous circus of our own shameful Presidential campaign.

 ~*~

Finally, it  did become Friday.  I mounted the cross town bus again heading to a doctor appointment, and noted this homeless dog for the second day in a row...

reminding me of our friend Joe Madi's lovely and well loved "Bodhi",  vowing to go on foot to find the young man and get his story when I have figured out if, and how I might offer help beyond a few coins.

At my Broadway and 23rd stop a pause...

to admire plantings in Madison Square park

before turning downtown on Fifth Avenue,

with one more pause to record the ordinary 'fashions' of a hot day in our not always so fair City.

Arriving at the reception desk of Dr. Eng as scheduled...

spending an hour or so in the cool of air conditioning while filling forms, registering and waiting to be seen.  A look over my charts, a few gentle pushes on my belly, a thoughtful discussion, and I'm scheduled for a colonoscopy Tuesday morning, given the prep-liquids and released back to the Street.

 Onward then, down Fifth to the Farmers market on 14th street where I made a few purchases of organic vegetables to cook and eat or store before my liquid fast begins on Monday, and the most desired item of bee pollen and honey paste "Elixer" to cheer me.

 

Overhead, a crowded sky suggests rain.

 

This beautiful tattooed woman crossed my path.

 

I waved to the police grimly preparing for duty.  When I told one my Father was a cop, he smiled and relaxed.  It's going to be a stressful night for them too.

Shoving my camera in between the wrought iron fence bars of Gramercy Park for one last shot.

 

Later in the evening I began remembering all the questions I had forgotten to ask, and was assaulted by a gripping anxiety attack, having foolishly searched the web for answers, only to read all the possible complications of what is, for the vast majority of clients, a safe and successful procedure.  Sleepless despite my best intentions, I wrote:

The Doctor Visit

Afterward the questions flooded

High tidal wave instead of sleep

"What are you afraid of?"  Not a peep

Now inquiry pours out of me - silently

This morning early I finally passed out from exhaustion and woke in the early afternoon feeling fine.  Cooked, listened to music, organized up my medical file, spent some time on Face book, answered emails, ate well and finished this post. Now I'll meditate into Sunday.

~*~

 "Keep busy with survival. Imitate the trees. Learn to lose in order to recover, and remember that nothing stays the same for long, not even pain, psychic pain. Sit it out. Let it all pass. Let it go.”

-May Sarton-

~*~

FIRST CAME WEDNESDAY

Wispy pink clouds in a hazy sky.

Mood to match.

A visit to the library.
 
Audio book #1 by Bob Spitz
It's about Julia Child's life.

Audio book #2 by Edkhart Tolle.

To quiet runaway thought.

It's Thursday.
The radiator has sprung a leak.
Sunlight is brightening the day.